Hi Everyone

As you may have guessed things have got away from me a little bit this week. Life is a little busy at the moment and spinning plates is an apt picture for what life looks like in the Davis household right now. Inevitably when we've got a lot on, a "plate" gets dropped. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so I have a habit of mentally beating myself up during these times. It's not a helpful response; probably a more helpful response is to gain a little perspective.

As I was going through my usual routine of berating myself for being forgetful I was reminded of the story of Mary and Martha - for those who are less familiar with the story you can read it here.

Martha is busy, she and her sister are unexpectedly hosting Jesus (and no doubt his followers too). I imagine there is a lot to do to keep everyone fed and watered and Mary is not exactly being helpful. I really relate to Martha in this situation. I would would be really hacked off with Mary not helping out. I can well imagine that the appeal to Jesus only came after a fair few hints to Mary and some noisy clanging in the kitchen in an effort to motivate Mary to help.

Interestingly, we're not told how Martha responded to Jesus when he didn't send Mary off to help her sister. I think my response to Jesus might have been something like this: "Mary may well have chosen 'the better part' but I suggest she get's in here and helps me if you want there to be anything to eat at any point today!" Maybe Martha was better than me, maybe she joined her sister sitting at feet. I'm not sure I could have switched gears that quickly.

That's the point though, isn't it. When we are busy and have a lot of demands it can be difficult to prioritise. We often end up attending to the things and the people that shout the loudest. In my experience Jesus never shouts for my attention which means that he's always in danger of being pushed out by the ever growing task list. The task list is important; it's important that I get on with work, that I get on with things that need doing around the house and that I take care of my family. We can't ignore those demands but somehow, amongst it all we need to take time to "choose the better part". 

When I did first aid training a few years ago we were taught to prioritise a major incident. Basically, the rule of thumb is not to go straight to the people who are screaming but to go to the one who is making no noise. The reason being that they are likely to be in greater need of help. 

Perhaps the lesson in all of this is to plan in a bit of time with the one who never shouts and screams for our attention and then plan all of the other things around that. Inevitably we won't get everything done and some things will have to wait but perhaps, like Mary, we too will have chosen the better part.

With love

Jess

Hi Everyone,

What a week! A heatwave and a change in Covid restrictions (again!). I don't know about you, but I've been pretty out of sorts this week. Sleep has been pretty much impossible and being tired and irritable is almost a constant state. It takes effort to be kind, to give people the benefit of the doubt and to be patient with those around me – particularly with those who think differently to me. And yet that is what is needed right now.

On Sunday Kathreen spoke about getting our minds right and focussing on Christ (based on Colossians 3:1-2). She explained that when our mind has the right focus then right actions will naturally follow on. 

It's a challenging time at the moment, we've been given a bit more freedom to decide what we think is the right way to live in this phase of the pandemic but we don't all agree on how we should use those freedoms. The temptation is to villainise those we disagree with or to dismiss them as stupid. I believe that we are called to a better way. 

Later in the bible passage that we read on Sunday, it says that we should bear with one another in love (Colossians 3:13-14). That isn't about always agreeing with each other but it is about choosing to have a mindset that views others through the eyes of a God who loves them. If we can have that as our fixed mindset then our actions and attitudes towards each other will become more loving and more Christlike.

Hopefully you've all seen the email from Simon this morning about our own Covid response here in church. We're taking a moderate and measured approach for the time being. I know that this will disappoint some people who were hoping for a more dramatic change and others will think that the measures aren't strict enough but we hope that you will bear with us in love as we seek to do the same with each of you.

With love

Jess

Hi Everyone,

Well, it's been an interesting 24 hours. Even I'm interested in the football which must be a world first!

One of the things that I love about the big international events is that there's this shift that happens at some point where despair and doubt turn to hope and joy. I can see it in my own family; sharing a house with a football fan gives me a close up view of this phenomenon. Last night there was singing in the streets (and our house), not because the competition has been won but because there is hope.

It's what we do isn't it. We might not all be great singers but we sing when filled with joy and hope because it's how we are made (the less flattering image that came to mind is the cute chumbling noise that happy guinea pigs make!). I think it's why I have missed singing in church so much. Amazing Grace is like the Christian version of Three Lions. It's a hope filled anthem that sings out our faith (I'm smiling now trying to guess which one of those two songs is now stuck in your head).

We sing because Jesus has won a great victory and because we believe that he will bring it to completion. That he is making all things right, he's redeeming and renewing all of creation and he's building a kingdom that knows no end.

That's kind of where the football analogy falls down. You see, whilst last night was a great victory for the England football team, Saturday will be just as nail biting because the victory is hoped for but not certain or assured. Yet, this faith we have in Jesus is absolutely certain and assured. I can't guarantee what will happen on Saturday but I can promise that my heart will be singing on Sunday and everyday forever more.

So whatever happens this weekend, enjoy it. Have fun because we all really need fun in our lives in right now. But, if it all goes to pot on penalties, be assured that there is still plenty to sing about because there is hope. 

With love

Jess

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to start by saying thank you to all of you who have sent such lovely messages to me over the past few days. I have genuinely felt very loved and I wanted you to know how precious you all are to me. I'm not going anywhere yet but one thing is for sure, I will miss you very much when I do move on.

It's been a strange few months. Beneath the facade of smiles there has been a fair amount of stress and a fair few sleepless nights going on in the background; wondering about the future, worrying about logistics, panicking about there seeming to be a lack of employment opportunities, and doubting whether I have what it takes to move on to the next stage.

These kinds of feelings are probably familiar to many of us. The specifics might be different but the feelings of fear and the stress are surprisingly similar. It's been a rough 15 months and, while some of us are celebrating that something like normal life is on the horizon, others of us are anticipating a rough road ahead. It's has been a really stressful time and, for some, life continues to be really stressful. 

Sometimes stress and fear can be really hard subjects to talk about in a faith context. I think it's because it sometimes feels like a lack of faith to express those things. Well-meaning people often give quick responses of "God's in control" or even "I'll pray for you", but it's not always helpful when you are really under pressure because those responses can feel like you are not being listened to or that your pain is being dismissed. 

So what does help? 

I think genuine listening really helps. Allowing someone to express fully all of those things that they are holding on to without comment or judgement can make the world of difference. Also doing that regularly when someone is in a prolonged stressful situation (even if they tell you exactly the same thing every time). Stress eats away at us on the inside, so expressing it is a little like cleaning a wound so that it doesn't become infected. A cup of tea or a pint of beer are usually welcome too!

I think encouragement makes a huge difference. Stress often eats away at our confidence and self-belief. We never know what people around us are going through so it's important that we build one another up, that we encourage each other and show our appreciation of one another as a habit.

I think prayer helps, but actual prayer, not just saying that we will pray and then promptly forgetting. The praying hands emoji or comments about "thoughts and prayers" have become just a kind thing to say when someone shares something difficult but ultimately those things are a bit hollow unless we actually are going to pray. Prayer makes a massive difference, particularly because those who are stressed often find it difficult to pray for themselves. 

I think practical assistance really helps. When things are at their worst, sometimes all you want is for someone to take the reins or hold some of the load. Always remember to ask what they want though. I had lots of well meaning people offering to do the cleaning for me when the kids were little but what I really needed was for someone to take the kids out for a couple of hours so that I could sleep. 

All of this might seem like good and sensible practical advice but, you might be asking where God is in all of this. I truly believe that God is in the midst of his people. He places us within the community of believers because it is in that environment that God expresses his love for us though his people. Jesus said that people who know that we are his disciples by our love for one another and the apostle Paul says that God places gifts within the church to build one another up. 

If things are good right now, remember to listen, to encourage those around you, to pray and to offer help to those who need it. If you are going through a tough time right now, lean on the family of believers, let us help you to carry the burden and remember, God is not far off, he has not forgotten and he will sustain you.

With love

Jess

Hi Everyone,

It’s a slightly longer thought this week so why not grab yourself a brew before you settle in to read.

When I was at primary school I had a headmaster called Mr Ottowell. He was an older gentleman who had served in the Second World War. He wasn’t exactly conventional in the way he taught us; I probably ought to mention at this point that the national curriculum wasn’t introduced until part way through my time in Junior School (Key Stage 2). Despite it being a Church of England Primary School where it was expected that assemblies would be faith-based and the songs we sang would be hymns, Mr Ottowell delighted to regale us with wartime stories, teach us about wild flowers and sing songs with us from his army days (I’m pretty sure some of them had been edited to make them slightly more child friendly). He also had a number of sayings that he liked to teach us. One of his favourites was:
Good, better, best,
Never let it rest,
‘till your good is better,
and your better is best!

He would get us to chant this over and over again, getting faster each time. At the time this seemed right and perhaps a Christian statement. It didn’t feel dissimilar to some of the messages that I was learning in church as a child. It definitely fitted with some of the Victorian hymns and carols we used to sing. Every Christmas we would be left with the words from Once in Royal David’s City ringing in our ears:

“Christian children all must be,
mild, obedient, good as He.”

I suspect that has a lot more to do with the Victorian ideal of children being seen and not heard rather than anything that Jesus said.

The point of me telling you all of this is that sometimes things can sound like they are Christian ideals when they are not. For example, a mindfulness post popped up on my Facebook feed this morning and it said something along the lines of:

“You don’t need to be perfect,
you just need to do your best.”

It sounds wise at first reading and even Christian but I’m not sure it is. I can get on board with the first line. Absolutely, we are not called to be perfect, Jesus is the only one who is perfect and we won’t ever be perfect this side of eternity. That’s sort of the point of all that Jesus achieved on the cross. We can’t be perfect, however much we try but Jesus was perfect on our behalf (I’m sure the theologians among you will pick that apart but please indulge my incredibly simplified gospel). 

I’m not convinced that doing our best all the time is any more possible than being perfect. Doing our best implies trying hard, being constantly conscious of our thoughts, motives and actions and choosing the most excellent course of action within our own limitations. Sounds biblical right? I’m not convinced. You see, trying our best all the time is ultimately quite stressful - believe me, I have tried it! It also somehow reduces our value and self-worth. We become people who are putting on an act, or a brave face all the time. This attitude also tells us that we are not quite good enough when we are being ourselves.

I think the Christian message is a little bit different to this. I believe that the Bible teaches us that God created us in His image and that he looks at us and says that we are his good creation. That is not to say that we don’t get things wrong, of course we do, and of course we need to think of others and behave well towards each other but I think there is a reason why this line from Bridget Jones’ Diary is considered to be one of the most romantic:

- Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
- Bridget Jones: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhoea.
- Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.

There is something very freeing when we realise that we are loved just as we are. It frees us from having to be perfect or having to try our best all the time. Yes, there are situations when we do need to try our best (usually exams!) but more generally Christ calls us into freedom. Perhaps a favour we can all do ourselves today is to see the good in ourselves. To choose to see the unique goodness that we bring rather than focussing on those messages that tell us that we need to do better. Because the truth is, that (unless you are a serial killer or something like that) the reality is that you are loved, just as you are.

So why not take a break from striving and stressing today and let the words from Psalm 46:10 sink in:

“He (God) says: Be still and know that I am God”

With love,

Jess