This is my chance to check in with you all between our two services. I wonder how you are feeling today?

If I'm honest, I'm feeling fatigued. I was unwell last week and still haven't quite shaken it off yet, I had some disappointing news earlier in the week and the situation both here and across the globe still looks pretty grim. I find that the temptation for me is to want to curl up and hibernate until things are looking a bit more positive and yet one of the major themes of Lent is about facing some of the tough stuff in life head on. 

When I reflect on last week's readings and the the beginning of Holy Week this coming Sunday we can see that Jesus has positioned himself to boldly walk towards suffering, rejection, betrayal and ultimately, the cross. He continues on even when he feels fatigued, sad and afraid because he knows that this is  his destiny. I'm not suggesting that our current hardships are our destiny but perhaps those feelings surrounding our current situation are a way for us to access the story of Jesus in a way that we haven't before. There is a difference between reading about grief and experiencing grief. There is a difference between reading about fear and experiencing fear. There is a difference between reading about the heaviness of life and experiencing it. 

As we read the familiar stories again, why don't we use our experiences over the past year to gain a new meaning and perspective as we journey with Jesus to the cross. And remember, this is a story that doesn't end with death, it ends with hope and new life. That's a promise, even in the most challenging of times, that we can all cling to.

With love

Jess

Hi Everyone

What a day! Just as we are beginning to be allowed out a little more, the rain is driving us all back inside again. The thing I want most today is to be cosy, warm and dry. I want to eat comfort foods and I want to snuggle up with a boxset or a good film. Unfortunately the task list does not allow for any of those kind of shenanigans and so I am attempting, with little success, to power on through.

Some of us have been reading Henry Martin's book throughout Lent, which includes daily readings and reflections on the areas of Jesus' life where he may have struggled. As I reflect on my own struggle today, it got me thinking about whether Jesus found himself seeking out comfort. I think he may have done. Okay so perhaps his version of comfort didn't involve a big bowl of ice-cream or binge watching a series on Netflix but he did have Mary, Martha and Lazarus, good friends  that he visited who no doubt gave him a good feed and some warmth and laughter. A friendly and comforting place in the midst of all that was going on in his life.

If, like me, you're just not feeling it today, it's okay to seek out comfort; to seek out those things that bring you rest and restore you. Rest in the knowledge that you are loved and that God's love is not conditional on your productivity. You are a precious child of God, rest in his arms today.

With love

Jess 

Hi Everyone,

Question of the day: where is your favourite place in the house?

If you are anything like me, you are probably sick of the sight of the inside of the house. Although I do have a few favourite spots. I am fortunate enough to have a little box room in our house that I use as office space. It's a great place to work because it has really big windows and so it is nice and bright with lots of natural light. I have a little old settee in there that sits against one of those windows - it's not the most comfortable place to sit but, if I pull up a chair and put my feet up, it's a really lovely place to read. I like it because, most of the time, I am not disturbed by the busyness of the rest of the house. In there I find it easy to think and often it's also a great place to pray.

I know that I can meet with God anywhere and yet invariably I find that there are particular places where I find that easier. Perhaps it is because those spaces are free from distractions or perhaps it is the connection that I make with them that helps me to be in the right mindset. Whatever the reason, those spaces become sacred spaces.

I have also noticed that that sense of sacred space isn't always present for me when we are worshipping online. I suspect this is because I am not sitting in the place where I most connect with God. Instead of in my nice cosy window seat, I am sat in the lounge where I watch TV or I am sat at my desk where I work. Neither of these spaces are where I would usually go to pray or to worship but they are the most practical places to have a Zoom call. 

I wonder if any of you feel like me?

I wonder if these practical spaces could become sacred spaces with a little bit of thought?

Often in church buildings we create an atmosphere of sacred space by our adopting a particular mindset as we enter the building. Those of us who lead try to help this by attempting as much as possible to create a calm and quiet environment for people to come into or by using candles, music and images that remind us of the presence of God. In reality, church buildings are just buildings but the way that we use the building and the atmosphere that we create makes that space sacred. 

I do think we can recreate the sense of sacred space at home even amongst the distractions. Here are some of my top tips:

• Have a tidy around before you join the service so that any bits and bobs that might distract you are out of the way.
• We love to see your face on screen when we are in Zoom services but if seeing yourself distracts you, go into the video options and turn off self view so that we can see you but you don't have to continually look at yourself.
• Think about lighting a candle, having a cross on the table with you, an image to look at or a bible to help you to focus. 
• Try to give yourself a bit of time before you come online to help you get into the right frame of mind and perhaps play a worship song.
• Put your phone in another room (unless you are using it for the Zoom call) so that it doesn't distract you.
• Think about where and how you are going to sit. What posture helps you to worship?
• Try to join in the prayers, the responses and songs that are on screen – it can sometimes feel weird because we can hear our own voice much louder than we would be able to if we were all together in the church building but the more you do it, the less strange it feels.
• Try to avoid chatting with others in your household during the service and focus in on the service or prayer meeting.
• Once the service is finished, why not go out for a short walk or take yourself off to a quiet corner of the house to have space to process.

We are desperately hoping to be able to be back together soon and the news this week has given us much to be hopeful about. Whether you join us in the building for worship or are worshipping from home this week, may you know God's drawing close to you as you draw close to him.

With love

Jess

Hi Everyone,

I wonder what you do when you are feeling under pressure? What are those tell tale signs for you?

When I'm feeling under pressure I start to get ultra organised. My to-do lists have sublists with actions and dates by them, I begin to organise the space around me. I become frustrated by anything that seems disorganised. What I am essentially trying to do is to control my world when it feels out of control. 

You might recognise some of those behaviours in yourself or perhaps you go to the opposite extreme - doing nothing because you feel like your world is out of control. Perhaps you stop eating properly, or struggle to get motivated. Or perhaps escapism is your thing; watching hours of boxsets or films. All of these things, while they seem different to one another, are really about us going into that fight, flight or freeze mode. We feel the pressure and our natural instincts kick in to protect ourselves.

There is another alternative though. Psalm 121:1-2 says this:

I lift up my eyes to the hills - from where will my help come? 
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

I don't suspect that I will stop trying to control my world by organising it but perhaps by lifting my eyes up, I might gain some perspective and maybe I will be able to relinquish some of that control that I am seeking. Organising my world my help me to feel better in the short term but it is not where my help ultimately comes from.

Lent begins next week and it's an invitation once again to lift our eyes up. It's a time to draw close to God and in that time know God drawing close to us. 

May we enter this season with joy, hope and peace as we take time to dwell in the presence of our heavenly father.

With love 

Jess

P.S. Just a reminder, Helen is looking for help with choosing songs on the 1st and 3rd Sundays when we’re on Zoom. This will involve choosing between 1 and 3 songs (depending on whether you just want to choose the ‘worship slot’ song, or the opening and closing songs too). You can introduce all three songs, or two, one or none; and you can choose whether or not to pray after the worship song. Helen and the service leader can offer support with this if you’d like to have a go but aren’t sure what might be involved. If you would like more information or to offer your help, please email Helen. Thanks for considering.

Hi Everyone,

How are we all feeling today? I've found it really fascinating recently to pay attention to my own thoughts and feelings during the pandemic. In all honesty, I wish I had kept a diary. By nature, I tend to be more of a reflective personality, but even more so during lockdowns and increased restrictions.

I don't know about you, but I seem to be constantly moving around a mixture of emotions and responses; sadness, ambivalence, worry, frustration, impatience, boredom, enthusiasm, inspiration, hopelessness, hopefulness, acceptance, defiance, confusion etc. etc. These feelings seem to change on a daily basis, sometimes on an hourly basis with no real resolution. Ultimately, it all feels a bit like being stuck in a very long queue where I'm not entirely sure what I will find at the end of it. 

If you feel the same, be reassured that you are not alone. It is just a bit rubbish at the moment.

The interesting thing has been in becoming my own psychoanalyst. By that I mean capturing hold of my own thoughts and feelings and asking myself where that thought or feeling is coming from. For example, if I feel worried, what exactly is it that I am worried about? Trying to pin down the feeling and attempting to answer the why has been really helpful to me and I offer it to you as a way of managing some of those more tricky feelings. 

In Paul's 2nd letter to the Corinthians (chapter 10) he is in a different kind of oppressive situation and he uses this wonderful phrase "taking captive every thought". I suspect that he had something slightly different in mind to our current battles but I do think that there is something potentially life giving in that approach. Taking captive our thoughts is not about feeling bad about the way we feel but it might help us (and our relationships with others to try to capture them). 

When we feel strongly in a particular way, pausing to ask the question, "what is going on for me right now?" and then offering that to God in prayer might be a really helpful and healthy way forward. Equally, when we are on the receiving end of the emotions of someone else, pausing to ask the question, "what is potentially going on for that person right now?" and then quietly praying for that person might help them but also help us to respond to them in a better way. This is not to excuse every rant or rude word that is directed at us (or comes from us!) but simply that we recognise that what's going on might say more about how they (or we) are coping rather than it being about us (or them). Being compassionate and understanding towards ourselves and others is perhaps another thing that we can add to that list of essential activities.

However you are feeling today, may you know the peace of Christ that passes all understanding.

With love

Jess